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When Houseplants Attack...

...they’re vewy vewy kwiet. (You were expecting maybe explosions?) Consequently it can be weeks before you realize they’ve breached your defenses. Here are two terrifying tales from the front lines. The assailant in both cases is epipremnum pinnatum, commonly known to law-abiding citizens as pothos, but in underworld circles as the “marble-leaf ninja.” Swift, silent, and deadly. OK, maybe not swift.

Pothos view 1

This pothos obviously resented the solitary confinement of the mantle. In a daring attempt at escape, it has sent out an exploratory runner, attached itself to the wall, and starting climbing.

Pothos view 2

On the right, you can better see how firmly the plant has attached itself. It won’t be long before it will be able to make its escape. You can almost hear it boast, “There ain’t a pot built that can hold me!”

A friend sent me a link to the picture below. It’s an iMac under attack at the University of Minnesota by another pothos. This pothos realized it was hopeless to escape, so it sought revenge by sabotaging the nearby computer. Note the tendrils inside the Mac intent on wreaking destruction. If you have any of these diabolical plants, I urge you to be eternally vigilant. Don’t let this happen to you!



ha! same type of thing is going on at my parent's house back in NY. a few months ago when i went home for the first time in awhile, the front room was a jungle. i think they have 2 of those plants and they're running amok! not to mention the other huge potted plants [almost trees] growing inside.

This calls for a premptive strike! Does weed killer work on house plants? Let's find out!

It's like the blob, but in plant form!

Malnurtured, I took pity on the plant. A stay of execution is in effect, although the plant is under heavy guard. I’m hopeful it can be rehabilitated as a productive member of society.
Howard, Yes The Blob! I put Blobfest on the calendar for next year, and a trip to the Sly Fox is always welcome.

That's funny. One of the managers at my company has an office that is being taken over by some poorly groomed pothos and philodrendon. I offered to take the scissors to them, but he resisted. One of these days I'm going to walk in and find him restrained by his very own plants.

Melissa, I have the same situation at work. A coworker had a pothos that she let wrap around her cube a good ten feet in both directions. I inherited it from her when she left the company. After moving it a few times, it lost some leaves and really needed a trim. Scissors took care of all that and today it’s quite lovely. I’m keeping my eye on it, though...

In the first picture, I noticed that you have a bird's-eye-view of Oil City by T.M. Fowler. Is it original? If so, any interest in selling it? I collect Fowlers.

you shd know pothos is highly toxic to cats.

I have three large pothos. I have one in a pot on the floor. Across from it I have another plant. The pothos went across the floor and into the pot with the other plant(which is not a pothos).It had buried itself far down in the dirt.I finally removed it.

I gave up the coffee table to the pothos & presently have it confined by wrapping it round & round itself. But the philodrendon is seriously on the attack! I've had to wire the container to the baseboard to keep it from turning over. Now I'm wondering if I can lop off a big section (ouch!!) without completly ruining the plant. My apartment isn't big enough for the two of us.

I have one of these growing in my apartment ... the little devil that it is started in one pot then one branch broke and unwittingly i put it in another pot and now 2 of the segments out of the 5 total are both 20 feet and 27 feet long. Im wondering if i can wrap it around the cieling and if it will be able to survive the .. growing conditions